Surgery and Patience

After a lot of back and forth and information gathering, I've finally scheduled surgery on my left hip for April 13. That's 2 weeks from tomorrow!

I am so glad to be finally getting started on this whole hip recovery process. I had been hoping to have both hips operated on (and fixed) at the same time. Unfortunately, the surgeon who is willing to do that doesn't take insurance. While the hospital and anesthesiologist would be covered, I'd be out several thousand dollars - on top of my out of pocket maximum for covered services. It was going to be too much. So, I've come to terms with having one surgery at a time. Dr. Safran is very experienced doing surgery for FAI, and seems very knowledgable and meticulous - two things I appreciate very much in someone who will be operating on me. Here is a link to my surgeon:

http://med.stanford.edu/profiles/ortho/researcher/Marc_Safran/

This is going to be a major test of patience for me. Not only will my surgeon only operate on one at a time, he also has a pretty lengthy (and conservative?) post-op protocol. The other surgeon apparently lets you fully weight-bear within a week or so of the bi-lateral surgery (he said i could be off crutches in 3 days!). My surgeon, on the other hand, will have me on crutches for 2-8 weeks - with a maximum of 20 lbs weight bearing on the operated leg. I also will be hooked up to some large machines for several hours a day for up to 8 weeks and going to p.t. 3 times a week. So, its a more involved process. Once i'm off of crutches for the first hip, a month later I can have the other hip operated on - and then the whole process begins again. But, I'm feeling ok about it - I'm hopeful i don't lose my mind during the process and that the conservative route will pay off in the end. Why rush it. I have (hopefully) a lifetime on these hips. If 6-12 months of patience means that I can run again, can compete, train and push myself without pain - then its worth it.

I've already navigated the mental and emotional hurdles of not being able to train and being forced to re-define who I am (am I still an athlete if I can't train or race?) with the various injuries and issues I've had over the past 18 months. I think that was the hardest part. This is the less hard part. My biggest struggle will be fitting in all of the p.t., work, and strength stuff and trying not to gain a ton of weight. I have a tendency to eat more when I do less - and when I'm bummed out. Not a good thing. Hopefully i'll get to swim pretty soon and start doing some core and strength traning to keep me sane and keep the endorphins coming.

Preparing for surgery (and post-surgery) is kind of funny. My mom and dad are coming up from LA to help out - with my mom staying for a week +. This will be absolutely invaluable. We have done this before. Last June when I broke my collarbone in Tulsa and had to have surgery - my mom flew up from LA to meet me at the airport in oakland and stayed with me for a week. It made recovery so much better - not only practically speaking - someone to help me feed myself, put on clothes, grocery shop, pick up pain meds, drive me around - but also mentally. It was nice to have a caring person around to chat with, watch tv with, and keep my mind off of what was happening. So, this time around I'll have my mom and dad for a while, my mom for even longer, and Jon - while he's not working or riding. I think it will be fun :) Work's been stressful and busy lately - so it will be nice to have the break from that as well - to focus solely on healing and taking care of myself.

I'm told I'll be in this lovely contraption for 2-8 weeks for 2-8 hours a day. Jon is already jealous.

Success!

Yesterday's commute was a success! Instead of riding my fancy carbon bike to work and risking it being stolen, I rebuilt my Klein with some decent parts and am using that as my commuter bike. It is riding reallllly nicely (thanks Dmitri!). It is probably a few pounds heavier than my normal bike, and slightly different geometry. Funnily, the bike's stem isn't adjustable at all - its old school - and all one piece. So, the only thing that is adjustable really is my saddle. I'm lucky it fits as well as it does! I scored on this bike on craigslist back in 2002 or 2003. It was my first road bike and I loved the Klein. She had a triple chain ring and some random parts, but totally functional. I raced my first year on that bike - and upgraded to a cat 3 all on the Klein. Pretty cool. I then went out and splurged on a cervelo and that was so amazing - I felt like i was cheating... anyway, i digress.

So, riding the Klein is a bit different, as is riding with a bag. I'm hoping I can figure out how to make the bag a bunch lighter as I go forward. I think leaving the big lock at work and toiletries at the gym is a start.

The commute was a success. The views were beautiful. I went up and over San Bruno to Skyline, down to great ocean road...

Up along the cliff house and lands end, through the legion of honor...

past baker beach to the bridge. Since I had time and it was beautiful, I decided to add on the Marin headlands loop. It was sloooow going up that hill, but so worth it for the georgeous views going down the back side.

I'll be sad when that road is closed - which I hear is from April through October. I'm hoping that will coincide with surgery/recovery - so its there when I'm back. Selfish, yes. After the loop, I rode back across the GG bridge, dodging tourists, and down along the marina green to downtown. It went very smoothly, and I was showered and in the office by noon. Sometimes i forget how lucky I am (for so many reasons) to get to have all of that riding, fresh air, views, endorphins, before work. It is so rad.

New Commute

Today I am finally breaking in my new plan of riding to work. Its been raining here alot lately and I'm finally getting over this lingering cold, so I decided today is the day. I'm meeting Jon in Burlingame for dinner tonight, so I get to try out caltrain on the way home for the first time too... should be quite a learning experience. I'm excited.

How fitting that google maps now has directions by bike!!
http://airbornecombatengineer.typepad.com/in_decatur/2010/03/google-maps-now-providing-bike-directions.html

Unfolding

The past 18 months have been quite a ride. In summer 2008 I was racing my bike like a fiend. Loving the sport, the training, the competition, the possibilities. Then, I overtrained, crashed hard, and apparently dug myself into a hole. The end of the 2008 season was disappointing, mind bending, and hard. Priorities changed along with my perspective, but I continued to want to train, compete, succeed. Winter of 2008/2009 brought a strange and undefined health problem that took me to many doctors without a solution. In retrospect, I think i was overtrained, exhausted, and beaten down. My body needed to rest and recover and when I refused to listen, I got slapped around a little. Unable to train, unable to breathe. It was rough. But, February 2009 came and I started to ride, to train, hoping to get fit enough to race again at the level of the year before. The training was hard, the racing disappointing. Finally, I had clawed my way back into shape enough to feel like I could be a factor in races, and then BAM - Taken out at 30mph in a crit in Tulsa in May 2009. Shattered collarbone, broken ribs. Surgery required. 2 plates and 16 screws later, I had no more mojo to get back on my bike for the rest of the season. I couldn't bring myself to fight back into shape on what little base I'd accumulated during the spring. So, I rested, reevaluated. Adjusted priorities and goals.

It was then that I started dreaming of running again. I had stopped running in 2005 after years of injuries had repeatedly sidelined me from training. I was never a fast runner. But i loved it. The endorphins, the trails, the solitude, the views, the air. I had been so sad to give it up when I tossed the running shoes for the bike in 2005, but it seemed the only choice at the time. In Fall of 2009 I started to think, if I took it slow, kept up core strength, did cross training - maybe I could run without pain and injury. Maybe I could compete in a trail run. Maybe I could even do a triathlon again. So, i bought some running shoes, bought a book on chi running, and started to run.

I didn't get very far. In June of 2009, on a few rides after my injury, I started to have what I thought was a groin pull. It hurt getting on and off my bike and sometimes while riding. I had no trouble on a backpacking trip in September, but by October, it was hurting pretty badly. My little runs had become impossible - sore and achy from the waist down, but particularly my hips. The hip flexor tendonitis of 2002/2003 came back with just a few minutes of jogging.

Then I went to my surgeon for a follow up on my clavicle surgery in October 2009 and asked her if she knew any good hip doctors - I thought I needed some P.T. and once again, that I was just destined not to run. She asked some questions and took some xrays and told me that I had "FAI" - short for femoral acetabular impingement. That I could try physical therapy, could try a steroid injection, but if those didn't work, I'd need surgery.

So, here I am, March 2010. PT didn't solve the problem. I've decided to have surgery to fix dem hips. Right now, I'm planning on surgery in early April. Surgery on the second hip would be a few months later.

I'm not expecting surgery or recovery to be easy. Knowing myself, it is going to be incredibly hard to be laid up on crutches and inactive for months at a time. But, I am hopeful that afterwards I'll get back not only to biking pain free, but that I may be able to run again. I have set a goal in my mind that I'll do a triathlon in 2011. Maybe sooner. We shall see.

This is my story.

My First Year

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